I Think My Friend’s Husband Is Hiding Something—And I Might Be the Only One Who Knows

Keeping secrets might be challenging, but it’s harder when you’re asked to keep something under wraps— something that shouldn’t be a secret. A man who reached out anonymously is facing this current dilemma. Bothered in his situation, he seeks external advice, hoping it will help him decide.

“Hey Bright Side,

I (M32) recently switched workplaces and moved to a new location. I now work at a loan agency. It was a decent transition, and I live close to some of my college friends, so we can hang out easily when everyone’s free.

A few weeks in, I noticed my friend’s husband nearby, and over the past month, I kept seeing him consistently with another woman. At first, I wasn’t bothered, but it was getting suspicious. Then, one day, I was shocked when they both came to our office. They revealed that he needed money because, in the past, she had covered for him when he was caught lying to a client.

Apparently, she’s his co-worker who offered to help. When he saw me, he was confused and begged me not to tell his wife about the loan. I can see that if his wife found out, it would cause a disaster. But keeping it a secret feels wrong.

Now, I’m left confused because it’s a problem my friend deserves to know. How could he hide something like that? She’s his partner, and she deserves the truth. I don’t know whether I should tell her or keep this a secret.”

“A few days ago, I met up with my friend and was caught off guard when she told me that her husband was acting strange. I asked how, and she answered that he’s going back home late after work, which didn’t happen back then.

I went silent for a moment and told her that he might be experiencing problems at work and that she should talk to him.

The conversation bothered me. I feel guilty for not saying what I know about the loan and the woman. But I also think it’s not my business to meddle in their relationship. I have a dinner with my friends coming up, including her, this weekend. I am not sure if my response to her was the right thing to do. Should I just tell her about it?

What should I do?”

Thank you for trusting us with your situation. It’s clear you really care about your friend and want to do the right thing without crossing any lines. That shows kindness and good judgment in a tricky situation.

The truth is, you’re in a delicate spot. What you’ve seen looks suspicious, but there’s no solid proof of anything wrong — just things that could be misunderstood. Her husband might be hiding work problems, given that he also got a loan — not something more serious. If you tell your friend now, it could hurt their relationship unfairly.

Before you consider telling your friend directly, here’s a more measured path you might take.

Pause and reflect.

Before taking action, consider whether what you’ve witnessed truly confirms inappropriate behavior or if it could have an innocent explanation, as it currently seems tied to work issues and money problems. Think about your intentions. If it’s truly about protecting her, it’s worth thinking about whether what you know is solid enough to risk hurting her.

It’s best to reflect on the factors and consequences you’ll have regarding your decision.

Encourage open communication between them.

You’ve already gently suggested she talk to him, which is wise. If she brings it up again, you can gently reinforce the idea that it’s important she talks to her husband about her concerns. That way, you empower her without inserting yourself directly into their private matters.

She can express her feelings and worries directly to her husband, and that’s a good way to address her worries.

Consider having a private conversation with her husband.

Let him know you feel uncomfortable keeping the secret from your friend and that his actions are raising her suspicions. It puts you in a very difficult position. And as her friend, you want what’s best for both of them. This gives him a chance to be honest with his wife and prevents unnecessary damage caused by assumptions.

Permit yourself to wait.

This is a hard situation, and there is no perfect answer. If something more concerning happens — like if you see clear evidence of betrayal or he got another secret loan — you can reassess. For now, just wait and see. You’ve already planted the seed for her to have a heart-to-heart with her husband.

Keep in mind that you are not responsible for your friend’s husband’s choices. What you are responsible for is handling the situation with care, honesty, and kindness — and you’re already doing that. Trust yourself.

In another story, a woman had a devastating experience because of her best friend. Read more through this link.